#10 Monkey Business ~ part 1

It was a lollipopish day, Bob and Pit were up early in the Looly Ville Park. They were trying to bee-friend the bee.

"Bob, beeing a friend to a bee by bee-friending them is not as simple as it looks," observed Pit, "You really need to be a sweet talker."

"Sweet talker?" responded Bob.

Pit leaned towards Bob and said, "Yes, one has to know the buzz."

"Hey Pit, ever noticed that a lot of lollipops are popping today?" Asked Bob, "Look at the lollipop seller over there!"

Just as Pit was turning around, a furry object appeared screaming, "Have no fur, Sputnik can slur!"

Sputnik then don on some blings and an over-sized sunglasses and started rapping in a muffled manner, slurring his words at every chance he got to.

"Tunic! Tutti! Come on we have tooth decay to fight! Pop those lollis!"

Out of fat air, a cow and a chimp appeared. The cow was eating hay while the chimp held needles and wrecklessly ran towards every lollipop and popped them. Suddenly, the chimp slipped on a slipper and flung the needles into the hay stack.

"No Tutti!" screamed Sputnik and Tunic. But it was too late, Tutti had devoured the hatstack in approximately 26 blinks of an eye.

"Ohh, I feel drowsy," exclaimed Tutti, "I think my haystack's been spiked. I don't remember having any blood circulation problems, but my whole body feels like pins and needles..." With that, Tutti fell flat on the ground, making quite an impression on the town.

"By golly, removing those lollipopping needles will be as hard as finding needles in a haystack in a cow!" Bob remarked.

Sputnik and Tunic screamed at each other in monkey talk and turned towards Bob and Pit. They told Bob and Pit that they'll have to get help from their space sheep who is in their spaceship - P.L.A.Y. Station. Bob and Pit merely stared back not knowing how to respond.

Unconcerned, Sputnik and Tunic strapped on Coka Cola bottles and dropped in catridges of Mentos and dissappeared into the morning sky.

Bob and Pit were left to keep an eye on the cow.

#9 The Machine ~ part 2

A few moments of suspense followed by some moments of confusion passed by Freddy life. Such moments are uneventful.

Freddy stood in front of the machine in utter disappointment.

“I don't get it,” thought Freddy, “it should work. Even if it didn't work the way it was meant to, it should have done something that will coincidentally work out and make me famous!”

Suddenly, in a subtle manner, a sound came from the machine.

“Hoo....”

“What's that?” Freddy thought.

Freddy walked around the machine poking and kicking trying to, in his own gentle way nudge the machine to reply. But he couldn't find the source of the sound. Nevertheless, the sound continued, “Hoooooo...”


The sound began to get louder and more intense, “oooooOOOO....... Hoo Hoo Hoo... Wah Wah Wah.... Hoo wah!!”

Freddy, in a voice just short of a scream, “Who's that?”

“Hoo Wah, it's me,” replied what sounded like a monkey.

“Who are you? Why do you sound like a monkey?”

Suddenly, the machine broke in half. A surviving light bulb drew out the silhouette of a black furry object. With fiery eyes the not-so-small-yet-not-so-big creature declared, “I am Sputnik the space monkey, cousin of Tunic the chimp and good friend of Tutti the cow!”

Before Freddy could react, the Sputnik jumped out and put on the pair of glasses filed with water. The fire in Sputnik's eyes died.

“Oh my, did I just teleported a monkey from space??” thought Freddy swelling up with pride.

“No actually, I've been hiding in one of the light bulbs all the time. Just waiting for the right time to come out.” the monkey said

“And what time is that?”

“When the gang of shooting stars come,” said Sputnik, “because it is time. Time to call upon my cousin and good friend to fight evil with clever hand-eye coordination and complex arrangements of triangles, circles, squares and crosses. I have to return to my space station now. It's called P.L.A.Y. - Station.”

With that the monkey leaped a year, jumped a frog and called Tutti over the moon.

“Oh boy, what have I done?” wondered Freddy, still trying to grasp the what had just happen.

Then a thought occurred to Freddy, “I know what I have NOT done. I haven't had dinner yet!”

So Freddy went back into his house to have some strawberries that Bob weaved for him which where left over the grill in the right side of the kitchen. He was so hungry, he left no leftovers over the grill.

#8 The Machine ~ part 1

Freddy fumed and fumed. He was jealous. Jealous that he wasn’t smart enough to conjure up plans the way Pit did. But Freddy was good with all things conventional.

Freddy, Pit’s neighbour used shaving cream to prevent his mirror from fogging. Pit on the hand attached windscreen wipers to his mirror instead. Who got the most publicity? Take a guess. Although Pit received more attention, it wasn’t because he was brilliant. It was because he often lived on the edge of coincidences and insanity. Still, Freddy wanted to be like him.

“I know what I’ll do,” mumbled Freddy to himself, “I’ll steal that humongous machine he has in is backyard and then I’ll be famous!”

When the clock tower struck two o’clock that night, Freddy sneaked into Pit’s backyard and dismantled the machine, brought every part to his backyard and built it back. Of course, in the dead of night, Freddy could barely see.

“Now how am I suppose to camouflage this thing,” thought Freddy, “I know, I’ll ask Pit.”

“Hello…?” said Pit in a groggy voice.

“Excuse me Pit, I want to camouflage something. Any ideas?” said Freddy

“Think superman,” with that Pit hanged up the phone on the clothes line. What a way to go on line.

Freddy pondered for a while the meaning of Pit’s words. Then, it occurred to him that superman and his everyday self were only separated by a pair of camouflage glasses. Freddy rushed into the kitchen took two glasses, filled it with water and placed it on the machine.

“There! No one would notice!” exclaimed Freddy proudly.

Little did Freddy know that Pit had horrendous memory for all things uncommon. Pit never noticed the missing machine in the backyard let alone noticed the machine in Freddy’s backyard. So Freddy went about his business trying to exploit Pit’s machine.

Freddy tinkered and tankered, hammered and dented, polished and waxed. He tried every conceivable idea as to how to get the machine to start. It wasn’t until well into the evening that he noticed the a slot for three AA batteries. He rushed over to Mr. Grocer, being a cheapskate he bought only two AAA batteries.

“It’s the same,” thought over-thrifty Freddy, “Same number of A’s.”

By the time Freddy had put in the batteries, it was already eight o’clock at night; well past his dinner time. Not knowing what button was for what, Freddy pressed everything and stood back.

...to be continued…

#7 Bob’s Height Issue

Bobana asked, “Pit, are you sure this is going to work?”

“Yes” replied Pit, cool and calm.

There were rumours going on in town that behind that cool as a cucumber Pit exists a mad scientist that’s planning to take over the world. What about all his successful attempt to save the sky? What about what he did to the leaves for autumn? The rumours have it that those worked out coincidently.

“Bobana, I know you doubt me,” said Pit while checking the wirings of some machine he had just built, “Eventhough, you spent good money to buy those magazines, you shouldn’t buy into their lies. This town is just not ready for me.”

Still with a tinge of doubt, Bobana’s frown lifted. Well, Pit’s sanity wasn’t top on Bobana’s Concerns’ list.

In Pit’s small backyard stood a monstrous machine. Tubes connecting segments with segments, pressure valves, various coloured light bulbs and even those little steam vents that made it look like it was right out of a fiction writer’s imagination.

Bobana, “How’s this going to work?”

“See all these valves, levels, meters and blinking lights?” asked Pit with the most serious of tone.

“Yes?!” Bobana could hardly stand the suspense.

“Well,” said Pit in matter-of-fact manner, “I haven’t a clue what they are there for. The only thing here that works is this fire extinguisher.”

“What???” exclaimed Bobana. His face suddenly turning red. Then green, then orange.Pit ran for his toolbox and pulled out a chameleon wrench and pried the chameleon from Bob’s face.

“Phew, that was awkward,” said Pit, “It’s time to get Bob. Hey Bob, come here!”

Bob fell on his face when he landed after his trip to save the moon. On top of that, all 33 vertebraes had fused into one blog.

The moment Bob opened his mouth to speak, Pit shoved the hose of the fire extinguisher into Bob’s mouth and pulled the trigger.

“You need a good straightening out,” shouted Pit.

*Phoom

Bob inflated and regained his height. Bobana found his lost chameleon. Freddy wasn’t happy he wasn’t mentioned as the on-looking neighbour.

#6 Darwin Investigates The Zoo's Newest Addition

"Queer" said Darwin with wide open eyes.

"Pop!"

"Oh. Here, let me help you," said the zoo keeper Bobana while picking up Darwin's eyes.

In a rather serious tone, Darwin says, "This is scandalous, I've never seen such a creature before, clown suit and all. Smells like cheese, and one fifth the height of the average man. Intriguing. I wonder if this is far more primitive or advanced?"

Bobana decided to give Darwin his professional opinion, "I don't know."

"Precisely," Darwin, "I've always thought that way too. I'll just follow my formula for the deduction for the evolutionary point of a creature."

Pulling out a roll of toilet roll, Darwin proudly said, "Only I have figured out that the toilet roll is a modern version of a compact scroll! Aren't I brilliant? But don't spread the news yet!"

Bobana was not impressed. The creature had a flatten face with huge nostrils. It couldn't be too stupid as it had requested for a phone call before. The farmer who sent it in said it fell from the sky. Yet it had no wings. Curious little creature it was.

"Now, let's see," said Darwin, trying to focus his reading glasses, "Step one, describe the creature. Does it have a spine? Bobana ask him this..."

Bobana listened to Darwin's whisper intently. He then turned to the creature and said in a low intimidating voice, "You feeling lucky punk?"

The creature expressed shock and recoiled.

"Invertebrate!" concluded Darwin, "Now, that would put it between 40,000 to 50,000 years old. Only one way to find out which part of the link it is."

Darwin took out a set of twelve die and passed handed it over to the creature and said politely, "Roll them please."

The creature rolled the die and Darwin with great enthusiasm took note of all the values and substituted the sum of into a complex algebra formula and took first 3 digits.

"Hmmm, 3, 8, 2," said Darwin in a deep ponderous manner. Darwin flipped his drawing book to page 382. On that page was a hand drawn picture of a man.

"Dear me! He is our ancestor!" Darwin screamed in excitement.

Bobana wasn't amused.

At that very moment Pit shows up.

"Hey, I've come to get Bob," said Pit.

"Sorry, I haven't seen him," said Bobana. Darwin was too caught up in his discovery to notice Pit's presence.

"There he is, in that cage," said Pit pointing to the strange creature, "He flu to the moon last night and fell down. I forgot to plan his descend. Looks like he landed on his face."

"Oh," said a stunned Darwin, "This is sad, really sad, if only..."

The creature said with a slur, "Sorry thoo thisabboint you, but I really need to grow see a thocktor."

Darwin was disappointed, he knew one day he'd be found out. Just not so soon. Bob was glad Pit came in the nick of time, he was almost named "Dar-win-ner". But he's been called "Dar-lo-ser" before. But please don't tell anyone.

#5 Pit Helps Bob Save The Moon ~ part 2

...continued from part 1…

As soon as the clock struck midnight, Pit pulled Bob into the car and dashed of to the fashion show.

“Bob, when we are there, sneak through the back door and run on stage and put your nose on the cat walk,” instructed Pit.

Bob nodded. He looked dazed from the preparation. The moment they arrived, Bob dashed out and everything was like clock work. The second his nose touched the runway, his running nose dragged him forward. His nose ran so fast he caught a flu and he was airborne!

“I’m flu-ing!” Bob exclaimed.

“Go Bob! Save the moon!” Pit shouted.

Inch by inch Bob ascended up into the sky. The moon was getting bigger and bigger, nearer and nearer, further and further!! No! This isn’t right!

Panicking, Bob realises that he’s flu too high!

“Help! Help!” cries Bob.

Suddenly, a meteor hit Bob, sending him flying towards the moon.

Crash.

“Hey, pretty boy, what do you think you’re doing?” said the Moon.

“I’m Bob and I’m here to fill you up, Mr. Moon,” proclaimed Bob ever humbly.

“It’s Miss Moon to you,” said the Moon, “Do I sound at all manly?”

Trying to avoid the ever ponderous debate that ensues mistaken gender identities, Bob pulled out all the blue cheese from his clown suit. He starts to put it on the Moon, filling every hole and making the Moon round again. The Moon was rather amused.

“Bob, I can’t thank you enough,” said the grateful Moon, “But you must go now, there’s a gang of shooting stars on their way.”

Bob nodded and looked down at the earth. Pressed his nose on the Moon and took off! He waved as He flu back to earth.

To his horror, the space rats that come once in a blue moon appeared and started eating the Moon!

“No!!” screamed Bob. He tried to turn back, but gravity had a strong grip on him and his flu was getting better.

Just when the Moon was about to be completely consumed, the gang of shooting stars appeared. As the old folks say, “Them gunslingers took ‘em down good!”

Bob was relieved. For a while. He realised he no longer had a flu and was free falling.

In one day, the Moon was returned to its full glory for a while, shooting stars had a space rat barbeque and Bob lost eighty percent of his height.

#4 Pit Helps Bob Save The Moon ~ part 1

On a rather fairy day, Pit was busy weaving strawberries out of straw wondering whether to attend a fashion show organised by the circus. Out of the blue, a knocking on the door startled him.

He endeavored to ascertain the identity of the visitor.

“Hello there Bob,” said Pit looking at Bob, “Anything the matter?”

“I was just thinking the other day about how we saved the sky, I reckoned we could do the same for the moon!” said Bob.

Pit assumed his thinking pose and pondered for a while what he would have for dinner later.

Bob waited for a while before nudging Pit.

“Oh dear me, lost my train of thoughts. You were saying?” said a blushing Pit.

“Save the moon!!” exclaimed an exasperated Bob, “My plan is to bring all these blue cheese up to the moon and fill her up!!”

“Ingenious! What do you need me for?” replied Pit excitedly.

“Well, I can’t figure out how to reach the moon,” said Bob sadly, “...and I can’t afford a plane.”

Pit smiled proudly and said, “Bob! I was surprised that you actually thought of something useful to do this time. Instead of questions like ‘where is my thinking cap’. I will help you!”

Pit made Bob eat a tub of ice cream while standing in front of his opened refrigerator.

“How do you feel?” asked Pit.

“Light headed,” said Bob.

“Great!” said Pit, glad that all was going according to plan.

Pit packed all the blue cheese into a clown costume and picked out two rather snazzy pairs of clown shoes. “Can’t attend a clown fashion show without these!” thought the ever suave Pit.

...to be continued…

#3 Bob Goes Grocery Shopping

On a slightly cherry day, Bob walked over to the grocery shop to get his daily essentials.

“Excuse me Mr. Grocer,” Bob called out.

Mr. Grocer turned to face Bob. Spotting a very stereotypical Italian chef look, Mr. Grocer had a mustache so long that if he could only see as far as his mustache he still wouldn’t need glasses.

With a warm voice Mr. Grocer said, “Eh Bob! Call me Gross. I’m quite engrossed with cleaning up my counter. You know how it is, bacteria is gross. Help yourself!”

“Alright,” Bob replies.

Bob grabbed a wheel barrow and took out a drawing of himself. Looking at it he says, “I’ll start from the top, the mouth.”

About an hour later, Bob walks over to the counter to pay.

Mr. Grocer keyed in the price for each item.

“2 bottles of tomato sauce, 10 sets of alphabet stickers, 20 keys?... Mr. Bob… What are all these for?” asked Mr Grocer rather bewildered at Bob’s choice of grocery.

Bob frowned for a moment, wondering why Mr. Grocer asked. “Have I done something wrong?” thought Bob.

“Well, the bottles of tomato sauce are for painting my mushrooms. I plan to have a alphabet soup tonight, so I bought those. The 20 keys? I’ve been wanting to make a key chain for all my other keys. It’s troublesome to carry all of them separately,” explained Bob.

Mr. Grocer was shocked, he continued to ask, “What about the bags of coffee powder? Certainly 7 bags is too much to drink!”

Bob smiled, “No, Gross, I wouldn’t drink so much coffee. I am going to soak a small table in coffee. Pit has requested I make a coffee table for him.”

Satisfied with Bob’s answer, Mr. Grocer courteously packed the items in grocery barrels.

“Have a nice day,” Mr. Grocer said warmly, “One more thing, what is the cheese for?”

With a cheeky wink, Bob replied, “Haven’t you noticed the moon hasn’t been full for a week now?”

“Oh, brilliant! Brilliant!” shouted Mr. Grocer.

Bob walked happily home while Mr. Grocer knocked over the cash register with his exquisitely long mustache.

“Oh no! Tickle my pastas!” screamed Mr. Grocer, “Now I have to clean up this gross mess.”

#2 Pit Makes Rain

On a fine day, Bob’s telephone rang.

Bob picks up the phone, “Hello?... Yes, Pit,... really?... Alright, I’ll be there in a moment.”

Bob puts down the phone and dashes over to Pit’s house. He was excited. Pit had asked him to join in a secret project too secret to be revealed over the phone.

When Bob reaches Pit’s house, Pit is busy filling up buckets and buckets of water in his garden.

“What’s this all about?” asked Bob, trying to catch his breath.

“The sky! It’s dry!” exclaimed Pit in a hushed voice.

“So?”

“So??? We have to do something before it’s too late!” said Pit.

“How can I help then?” asked Bob nervously.

Pit ran frantically into the house. Appearing moments after and pressed into Bob’s palm a small knife.

Pointing to the large container in the car boot, Pit said, “Peel these buckets of water and put them in the container!”

Bob was stunned at the immensity of the challenge. “Peel so many buckets of water? It’ll take days!!” he thought to himself.

“Pit, how about using a blender instead?”

“Sorry bob, that’ll be too fine. We need it to be just the right size. Quick, the sky is dry!”

Pit dashed back into his house to get another knife and the two started to peel water like seasoned army personnels peeling potatoes.

Once the container in the car boot was filled. Pit and Bob jumped in and drove off to an open field. There, Pit took out his enormous kite and tied it to the container. A gust of wind blew and the container went up into the sky. As the kite climbed the sky, the container spilled its content all over the sky. Pit’s idea worked! The home made rain drops were just the right size to produce a cloud for a light shower!

“The sky is no longer dry!” Bob exclaimed in wonder.

As a token of appreciation. The sky drew a rainbow.

“Haha, a colourful upside down smile!” said Pit.

“You’re welcome sky!” shouted Bob.

The sky, drenched in the goodness of water, still kept its dry humour.

#1 Bob Visits Pit

On a sunny day, Bob went to Pit’s house.

When Bob reached Pit’s house, he noticed the front door was ajar.

Not wanting to go in unannounced, Bob sat at the doorsteps to think.

“How I wish I brought my thinking cap,” whispered a frustrated Bob.

Just then Pit came round the side of the house. He was at the side of his house, enjoying the breeze and painting the leaves brown for autumn.

“Hello Bob,” said Pit.

“Oh, Hello,” replied Bob.

Sensing something amiss, Pit asked Bob, “Something the matter?”

“Yes, I wanted to put on my thinking cap, but I left it at home,” answered Bob. The end of his lips where getting heavier.

“Don’t be silly,” snapped Pit, “Left at it home? Its right behind you!”

Bob turned around and true enough, the cap was tucked into his back pocket. Bob sighed with relief. Pit went back in the house, glad that he could help a friend.

“At least, he didn’t cry,” mused Pit, “Noah’s not ready for it, he just started work on the navigation system!”

“Eureka!” shouted Bob in his mind. His eyes echoing the same words with its brightness.

Bob kicked down the door, screamed “Fore!” and dashed in. Drawing inspiration from a game of speed golfing.

Bob was no longer an unannounced guest. Pit’s door was no longer uninsured.