#8 The Machine ~ part 1

Freddy fumed and fumed. He was jealous. Jealous that he wasn’t smart enough to conjure up plans the way Pit did. But Freddy was good with all things conventional.

Freddy, Pit’s neighbour used shaving cream to prevent his mirror from fogging. Pit on the hand attached windscreen wipers to his mirror instead. Who got the most publicity? Take a guess. Although Pit received more attention, it wasn’t because he was brilliant. It was because he often lived on the edge of coincidences and insanity. Still, Freddy wanted to be like him.

“I know what I’ll do,” mumbled Freddy to himself, “I’ll steal that humongous machine he has in is backyard and then I’ll be famous!”

When the clock tower struck two o’clock that night, Freddy sneaked into Pit’s backyard and dismantled the machine, brought every part to his backyard and built it back. Of course, in the dead of night, Freddy could barely see.

“Now how am I suppose to camouflage this thing,” thought Freddy, “I know, I’ll ask Pit.”

“Hello…?” said Pit in a groggy voice.

“Excuse me Pit, I want to camouflage something. Any ideas?” said Freddy

“Think superman,” with that Pit hanged up the phone on the clothes line. What a way to go on line.

Freddy pondered for a while the meaning of Pit’s words. Then, it occurred to him that superman and his everyday self were only separated by a pair of camouflage glasses. Freddy rushed into the kitchen took two glasses, filled it with water and placed it on the machine.

“There! No one would notice!” exclaimed Freddy proudly.

Little did Freddy know that Pit had horrendous memory for all things uncommon. Pit never noticed the missing machine in the backyard let alone noticed the machine in Freddy’s backyard. So Freddy went about his business trying to exploit Pit’s machine.

Freddy tinkered and tankered, hammered and dented, polished and waxed. He tried every conceivable idea as to how to get the machine to start. It wasn’t until well into the evening that he noticed the a slot for three AA batteries. He rushed over to Mr. Grocer, being a cheapskate he bought only two AAA batteries.

“It’s the same,” thought over-thrifty Freddy, “Same number of A’s.”

By the time Freddy had put in the batteries, it was already eight o’clock at night; well past his dinner time. Not knowing what button was for what, Freddy pressed everything and stood back.

...to be continued…

#7 Bob’s Height Issue

Bobana asked, “Pit, are you sure this is going to work?”

“Yes” replied Pit, cool and calm.

There were rumours going on in town that behind that cool as a cucumber Pit exists a mad scientist that’s planning to take over the world. What about all his successful attempt to save the sky? What about what he did to the leaves for autumn? The rumours have it that those worked out coincidently.

“Bobana, I know you doubt me,” said Pit while checking the wirings of some machine he had just built, “Eventhough, you spent good money to buy those magazines, you shouldn’t buy into their lies. This town is just not ready for me.”

Still with a tinge of doubt, Bobana’s frown lifted. Well, Pit’s sanity wasn’t top on Bobana’s Concerns’ list.

In Pit’s small backyard stood a monstrous machine. Tubes connecting segments with segments, pressure valves, various coloured light bulbs and even those little steam vents that made it look like it was right out of a fiction writer’s imagination.

Bobana, “How’s this going to work?”

“See all these valves, levels, meters and blinking lights?” asked Pit with the most serious of tone.

“Yes?!” Bobana could hardly stand the suspense.

“Well,” said Pit in matter-of-fact manner, “I haven’t a clue what they are there for. The only thing here that works is this fire extinguisher.”

“What???” exclaimed Bobana. His face suddenly turning red. Then green, then orange.Pit ran for his toolbox and pulled out a chameleon wrench and pried the chameleon from Bob’s face.

“Phew, that was awkward,” said Pit, “It’s time to get Bob. Hey Bob, come here!”

Bob fell on his face when he landed after his trip to save the moon. On top of that, all 33 vertebraes had fused into one blog.

The moment Bob opened his mouth to speak, Pit shoved the hose of the fire extinguisher into Bob’s mouth and pulled the trigger.

“You need a good straightening out,” shouted Pit.

*Phoom

Bob inflated and regained his height. Bobana found his lost chameleon. Freddy wasn’t happy he wasn’t mentioned as the on-looking neighbour.